Try walking in my shoes

Make-up all over the coffee table together with hot brewed Chinese tea. Hair in rollers and eyes multiplied in size by blue contacts and fake eyelashes. Still wearing our comfy clothes before we pull ourselves into party outfits and chitchat while doing each other’s make-up. That’s what I call a typical girls night out.

The preparation beforehand is even more fun than the party itself. Though you won’t hear me complain when there is a chance for me to let loose and dance the night away. And complaining was certainly not on the agenda that night. We were perfectly capable of making a boring ass party fun by simply making the most out of it. We entered the room with a smile on our faces and went out with an even brighter one. It was time to go home and break away from the crowd.

But don’t just think that going home wouldn’t involve any obstacles. For some, this thought won’t even cross their mind. I mean, why would going home be an obstacle?

It’s simple, because I’m a woman.

Did I tell you it was a girls night out? Let me correct myself, it was more like a woman’s night out, considering we’re all of mature.

So, when four grown-ass women just minding their own business walk down the city streets on their way home, you would think that doesn’t come with any potential danger, especially seen as we were walking on the same goddamn streets where I grew up, you would think we wouldn’t get bothered. I was lucky that the four of us didn’t shy away to confront a man who could not stop following us, let alone making him aware and embarrassed that he was disturbing our walk home. A place where we feel 100% safe.

Still, we were lucky, because you never know what could have happen.

To those men on the streets; how would you feel when every time you go out for a fun night, you also need to take into account that you have to be alert of any dangers around you once it’s time to head home. Even on the streets where you grew up. The same streets where you walked around cheerfully as a child without any worries or a sense of danger.
How would YOU feel when you expect such encounters when you walk across a group of men and don’t feel surprised about it at all. When you try hard to not look threatened or scared and just convince yourself that you should see the good in people.

I do, but sometimes it’s better to view a situation as a worst case scenario to prevent any danger to yourself. It’s a battle against my own morals, only because of the fact that I’m a woman. So I just wanted to ask those who can relate to such behaviour.

Try walking in my shoes.

Not just any shoes, but some kick ass stilettos that can send your balls flying.

Just try it.

Try walking in my shoes.

Try walking in these uncomfortable shoes, because it’s hard sometimes. The only ones we are causing pain is ourselves by wearing such unwearable shoes. But still, we don’t hurt other people or scare them. So no matter how hard and unfair it can be sometimes,

I’m still glad we aren’t using our nature to scare or hurt others.

Try walking in my shoes. For once, feel the pain we must endure as women.

From the girl who rambles through life

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, there was a girl who loves to watch Disney movies. Every other weekend, you can find her in her usually habitat, accompanied with her younger sister. Glancing at the television with astonishment and wonder, whilst watching Mulan for the very first time in her life. Since then, she admired her as her imaginative hero. A hero who led her to a much braver path than she would have imagined she would have. Unlike other main female characters from Disney at that time, Mulan was not just a pitiful woman who needed a guy with royal blood to save her. She was something else.

She fight for the people she love, even though the circumstances are all against her.
She cuts her beautiful long black hair, without second thoughts or crying about it.
She doesn’t know how to be a lady, and don’t give a shit about it.
She does not shy away from fighting, even though she has zero experience.

Her biggest concern wasn’t about some guy at all.

Even though she struggled and failed during her training to get stronger, she kept trying and trying and ending up being the first one having retrieve the arrow.
She not only used brute force during war, but knew using your brain will gets the job done — without spilling wasted energy.
She even made the Emperor of China bowed down for her — willing to reward anything what her heart desires, yet only wanted to go home to her family.

She stayed true to her own morals and principles, letting no one stopping her from reaching her goal. 

She may look like a fragile porcelain doll when she is al dolled up, but she was a warrior with endless determination.
She showed us that being friends with guys is possible. She also showed us that having guy friends offers more than the typical ‘’benefits’’, but actually something we as people do too little — helping each other in crisis without expecting something in return.

Whether the original story of Mulan have actually existed shouldn’t matter. It matters that (young) girls and women from all ages all over the world, especially in oppressing societies, get inspired by it or something similar in which they can find hope to keep fighting, what ever fight they are facing. To be as brave or even beyond. To be our own savior, no matter how hard the circumstances are.

Because girl, you got this. 

We got this.

Movie star Zhao Wei as Hua Mulan (2009)

From the girl who ramble through life 

A Story About ”She”

Let me tell you a story about ‘’She’’

She is soft, yet firm behind her decisions without raising her voice.

She is vulnerable, yet brave.

She takes care of others, without neglecting herself.

She is capable to do it alone, but knows it is even wiser to ask for help sometimes.

She is unstoppable at moments, yet need to break down at other times.

She loves passionately, but not naively.

She smiles mysteriously, hard to tell what’s on her mind.

She speaks with wisdom, but is still a child by heart.

She is beautiful, inside and out, including all her quirks and flaws.

She is the mothers, the daughters, the sisters, the friends, the mentors, the artists, the activists and our inspiration in life. She is a woman. She is human.

S H E : A powerful pronoun 

Happy International Women’s Day!

Why modern feminism digs it own grave

I know I know, I bet you just sighted when you saw my caption of this post. You are not the only one. Many people cringe if they hear or see the word ”Feminism”. The word ”Feminist” slowly became a word to offend others. It became a word to offend the stereotype of woman who don’t shave her armpits and is man-hating in every possible way.

Modern feminism has long lost their original purpose to fight for gender equality.

I, also, believe that todays feminism has got it all wrong. It focus on women as victims. And what do victims need? Indeed, a villain. In this case, an entire gender. The poor men..

The sad thing is that this so-called modern feminism has slowly been accepted by many others – especially women in general. To give you an example. My previous friend S. (thanks for your inspiration again!) too often called herself a feminist. Ofcourse, there is nothing wrong with it if you know what real feminism stands for. However – as many others who claim to be a feminist – they are nothing more than hypocritical, man-hating, sexual frustated women. Making claims of men who view women as sex objects, but setting a half naked celebrity as your wallpaper in your phone, drooling and gasping is – my darling – the fucking same! You expect respect towards women, but acting in such a way that no person – man or female – can take you seriously. You are not only embarrassing yourself – but also insulting the ones who know the real definition of feminism and fighting for it.

When women get raped, it is considered a monstrous act. They get pitied, support and no one is shaming them. When men get raped, it is considered a laughable joke. They get laugh at, insults and most of people don’t take them seriously. I’m not taking sides. I want to clear up this non-speakable subject when someone is sighing again if I start with the word ”Feminism”. We still need gender equality in the world, especially in third-world countries. But how can they if they don’t have a voice? Well, they have us, the people who has it better than them. We shouldn’t take it for granted for what we have accomplished during all those years for gender equality. We should be grateful there were people before us fighting for equal pay, for making prisons safer for male imprisoners, for equal custody etc.

We should continue to make it even better, so they can also have a voice of their own.

This whole modern feminism just want to make me gag, thinking their reality is justice. Their only reality is that it’s destroying the whole intention behind it. Modern feminism digs it own grave. And they still wonder what they have done wrong to get all those insults throwing at them.

From the girl who rambles tvhrough life