What focusing on yourself really means

Taking care of ourselves seems like a self-evident concept. Still, it isn’t as easy to execute if we focus on the wrong things, to begin with. When we say taking care or focusing on ourselves, we often confuse that with parts that are additional in our life. Think of a job, a social circle, a relationship, ways to fulfill our materialistic desires and our outer appearance.

At first, it might not feel like an addition because it only feels natural to focus on these things in life. So we confuse ourselves thinking that when we are working on ourselves, it means to put the focus on these parts. Some will start to exaggerating focusing on either one part or either spreading their focus on all external parts to give themselves a sense that they indeed are ‘’working on themselves’’.

We then feel temporarily good about ourselves when we reach achievement after achievement when we put a certain amount of effort and time in our professional field. Or we would feel motivated for a little while once we fulfill a materialistic need after materialistic need when we are constantly consuming. Or we could feel inconsistently confident when we put all of our focus on the way we look. Or thinking that we are in control of our love life when we are monitoring every step and way how our relationship should be like when we put all of our energy and time into it.

In the end, we mislead ourselves thinking that we got on the right track and that eventually, it will all be all right when we just put enough focus on all the parts that seem to identify ourselves as a person.

But that’s not it. We have been doing it the wrong way all along. Those are not parts that identify us. Focusing on ourselves means just the opposite. It means to be in the center and let all additional parts be branches of our core. The core that holds us up, our spinal cord to keep everything together. So it is important to keep that in check by focusing on our physical and mental health. That includes everything from how at peace we are with our feelings to be able to breakdown the things we feel and the reason behind it. It’s taking care of our body – from working on a regular sleep routine, being conscious of the type of food we take in, to doing exercises that fit into the current condition of our physical ability.

It’s working on towards consciousness of every detail that keep our mind and body align towards a good direction and then make sure to be consistent throughout the process.

It’s putting yourself first. It’s treating yourself how you would treat others – with kindness and patience.

It’s doing the things you enjoy to do without making a public announcement about it or asking for affirmation, simply because you enjoy doing it.

It’s working on yourself through soul-filling activities that awaken your hunger for constant learning with enjoyment, reminding you to stay humble for we all are learning and absorbing new stimulation that we allow space in our life. And eventually, through this way of feeding our mind – not with consumption only – but with values through leisure pursuits and strengthening our body with the right nutrients and movements, our core would stand firm and proud, naturally improving all the other additional branches that make up a part of our life.

That’s what focusing on yourself really means.

To grow a strong core, living according to your own desired norms and values and thanking our body for another sunrise by treating it wisely and kind.

Don’t neglect or abuse your physical and mental health for short-term pleasure that eventually will turn into long-term damage. Don’t waste your healthy days away by acting and speaking in a way to seek approval and acceptance.

And remember:

• Your job doesn’t define you
• Your social life doesn’t define you
• Your relationship status doesn’t define you
• Your outer appearance doesn’t define you

What does instead?

• The way you treat yourself
• The way you treat others
• How flexible your mind is
• How strong your ‘’spinal cord’’ is, how you stand behind your own words and align that with our actions.

Rinse and repeat

From the girl who rambles through life 

If we don’t care, another generation will be forgotten

They say: we are so busy growing up that we forget that our parents are growing old too.

Not only our own parents but others from their generation too.

It’s too true, unfortunately.

By the time we are able to make our own decisions, we become so fixated on ourselves, on what kind of person we are inspired to become, on our struggles and our victories that we forget to care for others too.

But we shouldn’t forget and we should care, because without the generations before us, we wouldn’t even be here in the first place. Each one of them has paved their path, fought or advocate for something and helped others too.

If we don’t care, another generation will be forgotten.

A whole generation that in some way or another has helped shape this world that we are currently living in. These are people with their life stories, each one of a kind. Let us not act casual for it is seen as an admirable trait nowadays, let’s aim for involvement and care.

To show the world that it is not only okay to care, but that it is one of the greatest things you can do in life. I believe we can only make good use of our lives when it is in service of others, to help those in need to lift up their spirits and give them hope in darker days.

They say the next generation is the future, but the older generations are also a part of it. So, how is it fair when we only think about ourselves and our future when we neglect those who directly/indirectly has helped shaped our present?

Each age has its own magic and its own prime, and each age should be taken care of when it is needed, especially those who aren’t or merely able to take care of themselves. We shouldn’t leave them alone in the dark. Instead, we should do the best we can, reach our hand to them and give them hope to long for tomorrows and not only looking back to the past.

Because growing older doesn’t have to mean that life has to turn into a miserable place to live in. Or even one to endure. But if we don’t care, they will be forgotten as if they already don’t exist anymore. As if their value immediately has decreased once they hit a certain age.

That’s why we need to care. For others and for ourselves. To create stories with each other; young and old.

From the girl who rambles through life 

Listen up, your feelings matter

Listen up, your feelings matter.

You may think you don’t matter in this world. That you are nothing special in the grand scheme of this Universe and that your feelings don’t matter to anyone or even to yourself.
But listen up, will you? You can’t strip yourself out from others just because you think you aren’t important.

You are important, down to the very last cell in your living breathing body.

I’m here to tell you that it’s not too late to shift your focus from others, back to what is supposed to be all along, which is to yourself. You can’t save others when you neglect yourself. If everything falls out of your life, you are still stuck with yourself. So you better make sure to take real good care and give yourself some credits. Take a minute and be proud of the person you have become. Don’t wish for more or critic yourself for the things that you are lacking at this moment. During this moment, you are exactly good the way you are. Be proud of that. Stand bold and look your reflection straight into the eyes and ask yourself honestly;

“Do I know myself?”

With this seemingly simple question, I mean, do you know what your feelings are trying to tell you? Your frustrations, your desires, and your dreams? Are you aware what causes you to feel certain emotions? Do you know what drives you to move your ass and work on what makes your heart flutter like crazy? Tell me, who inspires you to get better every single day? And if you can’t answer all these questions, you better start to acknowledge yourself because tell me, tell me how you live a life without ever thinking about yourself?

Listen up, your feelings matter

Just because some people didn’t acknowledge your feelings or have taken you seriously before doesn’t mean that your feelings don’t exist. It doesn’t mean that you can just stuff away your emotions and numb yourself completely out of it. You can’t numb yourself to continue to live your life because what exactly good will it do for you if you let yourself drag along by the streams of others?

Carve your own wave and ride it proudly

If you think your feelings don’t matter, then it means that everything you do from now on doesn’t matter as well. Then why do you wake up every day? Then why do you do the things that you are doing now? Don’t take your life for granted by wasting your days away. Make sure to make each of your days worth to live it.

If you need a reason to wake up every day, start to give importance to your feelings.

Decide every day to do an act of kindness to acknowledge yourself, because your feelings do matter. Just save the trouble to please everyone, it’s not worth it anyway. Cater to yourself instead and watch yourself blossom into your full potential. Your feelings do matter.

It matters a great deal.

From the girl who rambles through life